The beautiful kindness of The Youville Centre

Lately, Brandon has been practicing a new word: beautiful. He often gasps when he sees an object and declares it beautiful, then tells us that he loves it. 

Those are strong words with deep meaning - beautiful and love. They go well together. I know my son doesn’t grasp them to the full extent, but one day he will and I hope he never loses that wonder at things he considers beautiful. I also hope that we teach him to appreciate and practice the absolute beauty of being kind to others. 

It’s Kindness Week in Ottawa and I’m participating in an effort to raise awareness about a program that offers incredible kindness to a very vulnerable group in Ottawa. When I was invited to tour The Youville Centre, despite the fact that I’d never heard of it prior to the email that Candace sent, I jumped at the opportunity. For those of you who are also not aware, here’s a snippet of the history of the centre and how it was started (from the web site): 

In February 1985, a group of concerned citizens met to find housing for young single mothers and their children (at that time, leases could not be signed by anyone under the age of 18). Within two months, they were planning to provide education for 12 mothers, a child care development program for 12 babies, and shelter for 4 of these families. From this small beginning, Centre Youville Centre Ottawa-Carleton Inc. was established officially on July 3, 1985.

Sister Betty Ann Kinsella was the driving force behind the creation of the Youville Centre. Thanks to her commitment and fundraising skills, Youville Centre began operation as a charitable organization in 1987. “The Centre offered the first program in Canada to address the comprehensive needs for education, child care, housing and support services for young, single mothers and their children.” (Excerpt from the Canada Gazette, September 2, 2000)

It’s often said that one person cannot change the world, but they can change the world for one person. The Youville Centre exemplifies this in a big way. Through the years they’ve grown from helping 12 mothers to helping dozens every year.

I remember myself as a teenager and I can’t imagine what it must be like to become a mother so young.

The Youville Centre offers these young moms the gift of an education - a high school diploma so that they can get better jobs. Youville gives them the gift of parenting skills - so they can offer their children the best life possible. The gift of support - so each young woman who walks through those doors knows without a doubt that they are not alone. The gift of resources - because obtaining clothing, childcare and other things for a baby does not come cheap.

Because of Youville, many Ottawa women who find themselves in the vulnerable position of having a child during their teen years are given a boost that is invaluable. There are often life circumstances that put these women at a disadvantage - from losing their home to being in abusive or unhealthy relationships. The Youville Centre gives them hope and opportunities.

Look at these beautiful women and their gorgeous babies:

Recently, The Youville Centre lost a significant source of funding - $40,000 - that covers the salary of one of the in-house counsellors that works with the young women. This is a loss that Youville is trying very hard to recoup to continue providing counselling services for those who need them.

Toward the end of our tour, after seeing the children in the nursery/preschool areas, moving on to the classroom and then the counselling facilities, we walked past a wall of pictures that is the pride of Youville. It’s not hard to understand why when you see the smiles of the women who graduate from this program. Heather Hegney, who led us through the facility, shared a story of a tour she’d recently done in which one of the group members looked at a photo with tears in her eyes and said, “That’s me.”

It’s hard not to get choked up when you hear about someone who’s been through the program and makes the effort to come back and help a new generation of young women get the same help that allowed her to achieve so much in life. What an amazing moment that must have been for her!

There are many ways you can help The Youville Centre. Monetary donations are always accepted (and greatly appreciated). 

There are many other ways you can help as well, from volunteering to donating gently used or new items, such as:

• Plastic stroller covers for rainy and snowy days
• Teen clothing – work attire and street clothes
• Cosmetics/Toiletries/Hygiene Products (new or unopened) – hotel toiletries, sanitary pads and tampons, makeup, skincare products, shampoo, conditioner, soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss.
• New items – it is a nice treat for the girls to be able to have new items for themselves and their children.
• LCD computer monitors
• Running shoes for teen Moms for physical education
• Warm clothing for winter
• Toys (except plush toys and small toys that could be choking hazards)
• Books for toddlers
• Bus Tickets

There are some items that Youville cannot accept, so please contact them if you would like to donate anything that isn’t specifically mentioned on this list.

I hope you are inspired by the work The Youville Centre is doing as I have been.

Kindness truly is a beautiful thing to practice and experience. What kindness have you seen lately and how will you pay it forward?

Life isn't fair

If I had a nickel for every time my mother repeated that phrase to me growing up, I probably wouldn’t have to work now. It’s a simple truth we all know, but somehow still easily forget. Childhood temper tantrums, shouting “That’s not fair!” evolve into adult pleading - “Why me?”

It’s universal.

Over the last three months, I’ve listened to two different people tell me two very different stories about the curveballs life has thrown at them. 

One. 

After another.

After another.

In one case, I listened and did everything I could to help, knowing that it was likely not enough. I did my best to conceal my tears. I didn’t want them mistaken for pity. I didn’t pity them. I admired and respected them. Their strength, perseverance and courage were humbling.

Hearing the heartbreaking details of someone else’s struggles made me look at my own life in a very different light. What did I have to complain about? Very little. I am blessed beyond measure.

The second conversation caught me by surprise.

An outer shell of calm with a warm smile can hide the heartache within so effectively. Taking each day as it comes, because thinking too far into the future just seems too overwhelming to someone so weighed down with worry and obligation.

Life. Is. Not. Fair.

Earlier tonight, Brandon asked me to play a game for him to watch on the Nintendo. As per usual, I kept falling off the cliff or drowning in the water. Each time I told him, “Silly Mommy made Mario fall.” His response was to repeat a different three words to me.

Over.

And over.

And over.

“Don’t give up, Mommy. Don’t give up.”

It may seem trite to compare my struggle to win a game to other people’s struggle to keep from losing in life. I don’t mean to be trite. I’m proud that Brandon is learning something that will help him later in life.

No matter how big or small the struggle: Don’t give up.

It’s true that life isn’t fair. Some people are given large doses of challenging situations to deal with. Others seemingly have relatively few. But big or small, we all struggle. Of that, there is no question.

The real test is in how we deal with those struggles when they arrive.

Wordless Wednesday: Who needs words when you've got a cool hat?

Sorry it’s so grainy and blurry. Low light, having to be too quick and an aging iPhone camera makes for rough mobile shots, but this was just too funny. Someone is pretty excited about his big boy underpants, though!

It's the end of the world as we know it...

This morning, something really horrible happened. 

I swore that I would NEVER, EVER, EVER let this happen. 

It was one of those things that - while I absolutely do not judge other parents for allowing (heck, some out there probably like it) - it just simply wasn’t going to occur in my home with my child. 

I have been determined in this for twenty years - yes, more than half my LIFE! - ever since I first heard that song. The one many of us loved to hate.

Is it the end of the world? Of course not. Don’t be silly.

Is it the end of my sanity? It’s entirely possible.

So, what exactly happened? 

THIS is what happened:

Just HOW did this happen? And WHO is to blame?

The real person to blame is the creator of the show. Seriously, I have no issue with purple or dinosaurs. I just object to annoying purple dinosaurs.

Matt has to share the blame, too. He just sat back and let it happen. How could he do this to me?

Lastly, I blame Netflix. Oh, they have their pretty little interface that showcases all those wonderful shows and movies and they make it super easy for even a 3-year-old to navigate around everything, finding “fun” new kids’ shows to watch and enjoy. Shows like:

The Backyardigans - I think it’s pretty cute. It’s only annoying when Brandon wants to watch the same episode over and over and over and over again. He’s three - it happens.

Arthur - I’m still trying to figure out what some of the characters are supposed to be. They just aren’t a discernable animal to me, but at least it seems somewhat realistic to life with children.

Franklin - It’s weird to me that a turtle, bear, duck, rabbit, beaver, fox and whatever other animals are in this show would play together. But at least it teaches some good lessons.

Little Bear - The music in this one is so calming to me. It also makes me want to give Brandon the biggest hug when he calls me Mother Mommy after hearing Little Bear call his mom Mother Bear. So cute. It is a little like Franklin with the whole “animals playing with their prey” thing. 

Jimmy Neutron - Geekalicious kid movie. This is one even Matt and I really enjoy.

Clearly, children’s programming is so not my thing. Netflix seems to have every one of the 493,284 13 versions of The Land Before Time movies - EXCEPT the only one that’s good: the first one. Good thing we bought it a while back.

Those are just a few of the ones I can watch without getting too stabby.  I keep trying to get Brandon to like Babar and Inspector Gadget. Unfortunately, he insists on watching shows that never should have seen the light of day, such as:

Caillou - Is there a whinier child on the face of the planet? Or wimpier parents? 

Max and Ruby - WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS!? Why is no adult responsible for these children!? I’m hoping their parents find them and stop letting them play on TV. This is a good solution.

Thomas & Friends - The constant sniping in every episode of this show grates on my last nerve.

I shudder to think what he’ll be watching in a few years. I might have to start scouring eBay and other sites to find some Belle and Sebastian, Transformers, He-Man, ThunderCats, Silver Hawks, She-Ra, Jem and Holograms, and other decent cartoon shows that I got to watch as a kid. Because, frankly, the stuff I see these days is just not that interesting.

Can you tell I was sandwiched between two boys based on my TV watching as a kid? :)

What are some of your favorite shows you wish your kids could see?

The Pinterest Project

Last year I got an invite to Pinterest and I logged in and saw some pretty pictures, re-pinned them and then walked away and forgot it existed. I just did not get how that was a tool that would have any relevance for me.

Beware of joining. It’s addictive.

Fast forward to last November and Lara made me write a post about Pinterest, knowing I’d do my research, invest some time and get some input from other users - and ultimately get hooked.

It takes only one look at my Pinterest profile to see that she was right. I have almost as many pins from the last 6 months than I do stumbles (StumbleUpon) in the last 18 months! So hooked.

But I don’t do anything with it. Yet. 

A couple of weeks ago I read my friend Becky’s quite humorous story of trying out a pin project (you should totally read her blog if you’re into blogs - she’s lovely!) and now I’m inspired to try out at least one Pinterest Project a month. And given the state of my linen closet, I do believe I will even take a stab at the organization idea Becky tried. And I am roughly 99.99% percent certain that my closet will resemble Becky’s!

I think the main focus is going to be on my Organizational Utopia board, because who doesn’t need to organize some part of their life a bit more or better? However, Yummilicious and Be a Better Blogger will come a close second and third. 

If you’re not on Pinterest, then I apologize for the teaser links that you can’t actually see anything on. However, if you’re interested in joining, you just let me know in the comments and make sure you include your email address and I’ll send you an invite!

I think this is going to be a fun part of 2012.