Peekaboo Beans - quality children's clothes with some pretty cool benefits

I was compensated for the following review with a pair of pants that didn't fit me well so I gave them to Brandon. Opinions are my own.

My good friend, Vicky, sells this Canadian brand of clothing - Peekaboo Beans (PB) - and the quality is amazing. When she asked me if I would do a review, I was happy to oblige. 

Brandon calls his Peekaboo Beans clothes "peas in a pod" because of the company's logo sewn on to all their clothes. It's seriously cute.

PB clothes are meant to be comfortable, functional and allow kids to play. (This is mostly why I was so disappointed that they didn't fit me. I like comfy clothes. Sorry, Vicky; there's a downside to every product.)

The tags even encourage children to play!

All the pertinent stuff we parents need to know is right there on the front of the tags.

Rather than toss it away, you can give it to your child to turn into a wee little piece of art.

As the mother of a child with autism who also has sensory processing disorder (SPD), I have so much appreciation for the thought that has gone into PB clothes. That tag being removable means that kids who are bothered by tags won't have problems wearing Peekaboo Beans. 

Even though the big tag is gone, I don't have to wonder what size Brandon's clothes are with the less bothersome smaller tags left behind.

Another bonus is the thumb holes that are so helpful to Canadian kids and parents for roughly nine months of the year (maybe 6 depending on where you live). Thumb holes mean arms of your child's shirt aren't going to get bunched up when it's time to bundle up. (No doubt this is also helpful for kids with SPD.)

Brandon really loves his pirate ship shirt with the thumbholes. (Don't try saying that too fast.)

He doesn't wear this shirt without using the thumb holes.

The pants have fake ties for the younger kids, but Brandon is old enough now to wear pants that have a real drawstring. 

So, how does this outfit look now that I've talked about it so much?

Not too bad at all when it's sitting on the counter.

Though I think the best part is when there's a cute kid filling it out. ;)

In addition to selling Peekaboo Beans, Vicky is just a really great person to know. You can get to know the uber-fabulous Vicky by following her on Twitter or liking her Facebook page.

I've been a little behind on my writing (as you may have noticed since there's been a two-month gap between this post and my last), so the PB line has moved on from winter and is into spring and summer. You should definitely check out the new line!

To the women I admire most in the world

International Women's Day is a day of recognition that I honestly wasn't aware of (isn't that a shame?) until about two years ago. In all the years I've worked for and with women, this day was never brought up or recognized. 

Back in the days when I worked for the State of Florida, when my mother and I were employed in the same bureau, I had the absolute pleasure of working with a group of women who I liked personally and professionally a great deal. Many of these ladies were, in fact, also old enough to be my mother and in true Southern style they didn't mind telling me what they thought or what to do. (I even went to school with one of the women's two daughters.) I dubbed them my Ten Moms. I still miss the camaraderie I had with those ladies. I miss them period. Sadly, my mother and other that I know of have  passed away in the years since I moved to Canada. Time moves on and so have I but the memories I have of the first women I looked up to in the workplace will stay with me. I am so blessed to have two truly wonderful women to work with in my part-time job - they are lovely, funny and awesome. I couldn't have picked better if I'd had to choose myself. 

Back: Vicky (Mieka), Lara, Me, Front: Barbara (Reid), Donna, Sara

Getting involved online has opened up my world to many people, places and things. There's the obvious fact that I met a guy and moved from Florida to Canada to be with him. But that doesn't count on International Women's Day. What does count are the women like Lara, Sara, Vicky, Donna and Barbara who were the original Losing it in Ottawa gang. Most of us were strangers one day and friends the next. Though we've gone on to do other things for the most part, I still count them as friends and admire their chutzpah. Seriously, when you admit your struggles as openly and honestly as we did, it takes guts.

One person who I definitely haven't been separated from in that group is my business partner, Lara. After founding Losing it in Ottawa together, we worked together to start Social Capital Conference. When she needed a new partner for Kids in the Capital, I said yes. The only thing we weren't doing together was consulting - and then we were. I've had a lot of co-workers that I've clicked with and worked well with, but Lara's different. It's like we feed off each other. Ideas burst forth and we seem to complement each other's strengths and weaknesses. We can tease each other about our eccentricities and quirks. A mutual friend, Jordan, has often called us Statler and Waldorf for our twitter conversations that happy when we're feeling goofy and loopy. I admire Lara for many reasons, but the one that is most clear is that she knows what she wants and she isn't afraid to go after it. She's the best kind of partner to have in business.

In general, I don't get starstruck by people who are public figures, but there are people I've come to know through social media that I definitely get starstruck with. I'm still embarrassed when I think about my giddiness meeting women like Amber Mac and Gini Dietrich. I look up to them and respect them as women who are contributing value to their respective fields. Gini, in particular, is someone I follow with great interest because she's so down-to-earth, approachable and she's just plain good at what she does. Also, when I have employees, I hope I'm half the boss she is. Or maybe I should just convince her to let me work for her too. ;)

Ultimately, the women I admire are not famous. They aren't doing outrageous things for attention. They are being who they are, doing what they do the best they can and being awesome at it. This is merely a select few women that have influenced me in my life and I haven't even talked about the most influential woman in my life much in this post. My mother helped shape the person I am more than any other woman in my life. There is no doubt that I was incredibly blessed to have her for a mom.

Who are the women you admire in your life? Make sure they know today!

The ebb and flow of balance in our family - it's not "fair"

My friend, Annie, recently wrote about Marissa Mayer and Sheryl Sandberg  - two very accomplished women - and their decisions and comments that could be detrimental to families should their philosophies be openly implemented far and wide. Mayer's no-working-from-home inflexibility is already a reality in many businesses and I have no doubt that the law doesn't stop businesses from asking women about their plans for having a family. I have personally had comments made to me on more than one occasion that were at least borderline if not outright illegal.

A lot of the articles around these recent events are about achieving balance in families. The question of balance is often heavily weighted toward the need for it in women, but what about men? Or, what about overall balance in the family unit?

Actually, let me back up and say I don't believe there is such a thing as balance in the sense of a one size fits all amount of time to spend working and with family. I also don't think that balance for one family is going to look the same as balance for another family. I've written about the juggling act of work and family and gender roles before and - after reading it again - things have changed quite a lot for us in the last two years.

What our balance looks like

Since 2013 began, I've reduced my hours at my day job from full-time to part-time. This change was supported by my employer without hesitation. My co-workers have been equally supportive. My husband has given me an incredible amount of support as I pursue building a new business, but my new business is every bit as much work for him as it is for me. It's created an imbalance (temporarily for an indeterminate period of time) that was hard for him at first - change doesn't come easy to him. However, he worked through that adjustment in our lives and accepted it gracefully. His support of what I am doing has been unwavering since. I give him full credit for his efforts because it's just not easy to go from the surety and "security" of a salary to the ebbs and flows of consulting work.

I'm painfully aware that I allow Matt to do far more than his fair share of housework and parenting. He works full-time, does dishes, his laundry, cleans, vacuums, takes out the trash, buys groceries, gets the mail, and countless other things.

I've been sick for most of this year with one bug or another and working late most nights added to illness added to working through the day have made me drowsy and sluggish in the mornings. I wake up later and later and my poor husband bears the brunt of getting himself ready, getting Brandon ready, making breakfast for both of them, packing Brandon's lunch, book bag and daycare bag, packing the car and ushering everyone out the door. It's taken a toll on him and he's stressed and tired, so that imbalance has to shift.

We only have one car, so the commute involves first dropping Brandon off, then Matt, and I take the car most days. Brandon is at daycare for 9-9.5 hours. I pick Matt up first and he and I go spend some time at home alone. We talk about our day, do a bit of cleaning, then one or both of us will go pick up Brandon.

Imbalance in division of duties doesn't necessarily mean an unhappy family.

Unless Brandon has therapy. In that case, he gets picked up early and I take him to his appointments. I've taken on the lion's share of paperwork, appointments and other logistics of getting Brandon treatment. Matt is aware of what's going on and stays involved, but I have more flexibility for appointments and Brandon has many, many appointments. There is a perceived imbalance and I do more than my "fair" share, but it's working better than if I insisted Matt help.

We typically get home in the evening between 5:30 and 6:00. Matt or I prepare dinner for Brandon. I sometimes prepare dinner for myself. Sometimes we all three even eat together, but our dinnertime flexibility allows Brandon time to play, which is something he needs. He goes to bed early and he needs downtime as well. I dream of the day when we all three sit at a table at the same time to eat every night. We're not there yet, and it may take a while, but this is what works for our family right now. We're spending time together and that's the important thing.

After dinner and playtime, Brandon gets to watch a little TV before bed. At bedtime, I  lay down with Brandon for him to settle into rest more quickly. I enjoy this one-on-one snuggle time with my baby and I would miss it if he stopped wanting it, even though there have been many nights I wished I didn't have to do it. Matt spends this time eating his dinner or doing various household chores. Nearly every night when I leave Brandon's room, I head to the office to work some more.

By 10pm most nights, Matt is in bed trying to sleep, if not out cold. I try to shut down at 11pm and then spend some time reading to wind down my brain. However, it'snot unusual for me to stay up until 2am or 3am if I get really focused on something. (It's no wonder I'm sluggish at 6am.)

Some nights, I go out to functions, which leaves Matt in charge of doing everything for the evening. He doesn't complain and I know I've got it good.

This time in our lives is tricky. It's requiring Matt to sacrifice his hobbies and downtime. It hasn't been easy for him and I won't pretend it hasn't caused problems between us. The better my business does, and the more Matt sees that I'm not leading us down the garden path, the less he minds the sacrifice. I like to think he is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I am.

Like Sarah Lacy, I don't expect anyone else to want *my* life and *my* version of balance for themselves. This is what works for me and my family right now. A year from now, the picture will likely look very different. 

If individual couples can figure out that balance requires flexibility and constant renegotiation, then companies need to learn that as well. They may just find that employees enjoy their work and become more productive as a result.

We all need a better mirror and a little kindness

I was in sixth grade when I started noticing the things about myself that were different. The most obvious difference was my skin. I don't tan. I burn and then go back to my pasty white skin.

I was dubbed Casper. It could have been worse, I suppose.

And then it got worse.

"Did your mama drop you in a tub of bleach?" was just one of the cracks they made about my pale skin. 

It wasn't bullying. No, it was just inconsiderate children not knowing when to stop because they're hurting another human being.

The day it stopped was the worst day of all. Incessantly pointing out how pale I was. Making jokes that weren't funny...at least to me.

I felt like less and less likeable the longer the barrage continued.

I finally left the room without a word to my teacher or fellow students. I ran to the bathroom and cried, wishing with everything in me that I was not the person I was.

If you can’t see something beautiful about yourself

Get a better mirror

Look a little closer

Stare a little longer

Eventually I stopped listening to the voice in my head telling me that being different was a bad thing. I learned to appreciate my pale skin. I stopped caring so much what my peers thought about me. I figured out how to like myself as I was. 

It may seem like a trivial matter, this issue of having pale skin. So, let me add some context: I was eleven and lived in Florida.

It mattered to me, even if it didn't matter to anyone else.

It's still a battle sometimes to like parts of me that I view as less than perfect. But I have never let myself go back to feeling as if the person I am isn't good enough.

I hope everyone who sees this video goes out to find a better mirror, take a closer look and stare a little longer until there's no doubt in their mind that they are beautiful and valuable, just as they are.

Kindness Week in Ottawa is wrapping up today - let's go be kind to one another every day for another year, my friends.

My favorite things: Squarespace

Since the beginning of this year, I keep getting into conversations about Squarespace. Someone would ask if anyone knows anything about it and one of my friends would reply and direct them to me because I tend to be pretty vocal about how much I like it. I'm far from an expert on Squarespace, but I have become a loyal customer over the last three years. 

When I started blogging, I signed up for a Blogger account. It was free and easy to use. I did all my own design from day one. I have never done anything overly fancy or cool, but I think my layouts were generally nice for a typical blog layout. My current layout is simple and minimalistic - exactly what I wanted. This blog is my hobby, so even though I was tempted to hire a designer, I knew I wouldn't do it as long as I was on Blogger.

An alternative to Blogger

Then I started thinking about Squarespace. I had learned about the platform through podcasts they sponsored back in 2007ish? In fact, several of the podcasters were so impressed when they tried it out that they used it for their own sites. These were tech podcasts, and these tech journalists knew what they were doing. So, when I decided to make the jump from Blogger, despite having set up a Wordpress account already, I chose to go with Squarespace.

A comment problem

My only regret has been the lack of threaded comments. One of the primary reasons I was switching platforms was to have a more "grown up" blog conducive to discussion, which isn't easy unless comments are threaded.  I'm disappointed to this day that they haven't integrated them into version 5. It's a paid platform and it should have threaded comments if Wordpress, the "free" platform does. I'm not sure we'll get comment threads on V5, though.

Problem solved

Two years ago Squarespace announced a new version - V6 - was coming! It has threaded comments, gorgeous templates and lots of social integration. Yay! Six months after the full launch of SS6, I finally moved this blog over. The biggest challenge I had was figuring out where everything was and it still only took a few hours over a couple of days to set up my site and import everything from V5. Squarespace makes it so easy!

Easy breezy customization

I've taken HTML and CSS. I have coded my own website from scratch - nothing fancy, but I'm more proficient than the average bear. With Squarespace, I don't have to know any code at all. I can customize the templates to my heart's content to create a unique site for myself without ever coding a single line. I've incorporated the Nivo slider into one site before Squarespace introduced slideshows. Now I don't need to custom build a slider if I want one - it's a built-in function.

While I find customization in Version 5 to be much more flexible, Squarespace releases new features regularly, so I'm hopeful that V6 will become more versatile over time and I have no doubt that they'll introduce more and more fabulous templates.

Squarespace vs Wordpress

I surprise people regularly by telling them I don't like Wordpress. I've been using Wordpress regularly as long as I've been using Squarespace and I've done lots of site customization/design on WP. I can easily spend four times longer customizing a WP site as I do customizing a SS site. 

Wordpress is a "free" platform. It's open source, which means there are thousands upon thousands of plugins (and themes and other stuff) to pick from built by the open source community! The downside is that not all plugins are created equal (and you have to sift through thousands and thousands). Sometimes they don't work with your Wordpress install or your theme or they don't quite do what you want. My head is spinning just thinking about it. I bought Thesis for a self-hosted site I developed in 2011. Of the (admittedly few) themes I've used, Thesis was the easiest to customize. However, it was not "easy". Custom themes? Ugh. Have I mentioned I don't like Wordpress?

My personal preference

If Squarespace disappeared tomorrow, I'd go back to Blogger before I sign up for Wordpress again. My opinion is that Wordpress is a bulky beast that is about as user-friendly as Microsoft Access (and I know Access well). I don't subscribe to the notion that just because everyone else is using it, I should too. Yes, WP has the lion's share of the market when it comes to blog platforms, but that doesn't mean that other tools aren't worthy of attention - and Squarespace is attracting more attention all the time. To me, Squarespace is a superior tool. The time I save on every aspect of my site - design, maintenance, software updates, etc. (NO updates!!!) - makes up for the cost of a premium hosted service about three times over. 

The Squarespace team's response to Hurricane Sandy just re-affirmed my choice. That's a commitment to customer service that cannot be denied. They also have actual support. I can ask my buddy Google (or the SS Help forums) how to do something and get answers, or I can send in a support ticket. I always get an email so fast that it takes me by surprise every time.

There are a lot of people who prefer Wordpress over Squarespace. Some reviews give me the impression they haven't truly given SS a fair shake. For others it's just not a platform that meets their needs. There's also a really strong community out there that believes in open source software. 

What should you use?

I think the question of what platform to use should really come down to what suits your needs and preferences. For me, that platform is Squarespace. It's not perfect (realistically, none are), but it's very, very good. 

Just in case anyone's curious: This is not a solicited review. It's my thoughts about the blogging platform I use as compared to others. Squarespace hasn't paid me or verified the accuracy of anything I've said so feel free to take it with a grain of salt. I just wanted to be able to send people a link when they ask me about Squarespace. ;)

Knowing isn't even 1% of the "battle", but it's still a huge relief

When I was growing up during the years we lived in central Florida, my mother was a special education teacher. Her class had children in it who could not be put in mainstream classrooms - not even by today's more lenient standards.

I asked my mom to let me go to the school where she taught, even though we lived less than two blocks from an elementary school. Every day after my class got out, I went to my mom's classroom and we would often have a student or two or three who remained at school for a variety of reasons. It wasn't unusual for mom to give students a ride home or assist their parents on errands. In one instance, I recall taking a profoundly deaf boy (with severe anxiety if I remember the situation accurately) to be fitted with new hearing aids. He screamed almost the entire time until his hearing aids were fitted. 

1983 - I proudly wore my school's colours (kelly green) and mascot at the Special Olympics. We always went when mom had students participating.

In another instance, mom went to each of her students' houses to pick them up and brought them back to our house for a sleepover the night before the Special Olympics. That particular year, they were held at the school close to our house and the families of many of her students could not transport them to the event. (Things were very different 30 years ago.)

I am not a teacher. I couldn't do the kind of work my mother did. But I learned so much from the care she took with the students in her class. I learned that children can be born with any number of challenges that may or may not be obvious at first. By far, the most important thing that I learned (even back then) is that there is help and people do care. 

I was really blessed to have those few years that I remember of Mom teaching. Her health forced her to make a career change when I was eight. As an adult, I never feared having a child born with a learning disability or emotional or mental handicaps, as such conditions were called back then. (Sorry. I'm not up on the current terminology at all anymore.) 

There is not much in the world that's cuter than a dinosaur at the dinner table. 

I've never been more thankful for being the daughter, sister and sister-in-law of special educators than I was on December 12th when I was told that my son has PDD-NOS. It was expected. I heard the words finally and I knew what I had to work with. There were no tears or regrets about anything I've done. I didn't feel a need to grieve over any aspect of Brandon's diagnosis. He has autism, but his future is as bright as it ever was.

Brandon's diagnosis changes little about what we're doing, except that more services open up to us with his diagnosis, but we were already on the right track. We will keep going the way we have been and I'm confident he'll continue to make really good progress.

I couldn't be prouder of him than I am. He is a truly sweet child with a lovely disposition (most of the time). He's funny and smart and so happy. It's exciting to watch this amazing little person growing up and learning new things. He will be fantastic - I have no doubt about it.

Anxiety with severe depression

I nearly had a panic attack when I heard those words last year from my doctor. It's been just over a year since she said them to me. I still don't fully understand what the catalyst was, though I have my theories. It wasn't a single circumstance.

Ultimately, I had a lot going on in life that was weighing me down. The previous summer, we started the process of looking at Brandon's speech and communication delays. Then found out he had motor skills delays in December, so moved on to the possibility of a developmental disorder. I registered him for kindergarten, but worried that he wasn't going to be ready just days before going to see my doctor.

I remember thinking in December that I was so out of shape. Walking to and from work was taking my breath away every time. Except the change happened overnight. One day I was fine, then next I was winded. Odd.

Except I wasn't winded. I was hyperventilating. And it wasn't just on the walk to and from work. It was at varying points through my day and I'd forgotten the months of hyperventilating when I started high school at 14. Just like those first few months of high school, I was so tired. I seemed to sleep well, but stress was weighing me down. I couldn't focus and my work was suffering.

I probably should have gotten help over a year before I actually did. The day I sat on the bus and couldn't catch my breath, tears streaming down my face for no apparent reason. To this day, I have no idea why I had a panic attack on that day at that time. 

It wasn't easy to go see my doctor last year. I'd been depressed in the past, but I was always (somewhat) functional. I kept going and tried to do things to help alleviate the depression. It was usually circumstantial, which seemed easier to recover from, not that PPD after a miscarriage is a walk in the park. Time did heal.

Last year, I had to admit that I wasn't functioning well at all. I was sinking further and further and I knew I needed help to crawl out, especially not knowing what we were facing with Brandon.

So, I went to the doctor, listened to her diagnosis and felt terrified and relieved at the same time. She handed me a prescription and a note for work. I was taken off work for six weeks and monitored.

It took a couple of weeks, but I soon began to feel more like myself. I was engaged, energetic and focused more so than I'd felt for a very long time. It lasted for several months and then I started sinking again, so I went back to my doctor. A temporary solution that was to have lasted just six months has stretched over a year now. I've missed taking my medication occasionally and I know I'm not ready to go without.

I'm writing this today because I've only ever eluded to my struggles in passing. It was an intensely private and personal struggle, much like my fears of the unknown with Brandon were last year. Even family members don't know the details of what I'm sharing today. It's not that they don't care - it's that I just wasn't ready to talk about it. I'm not totally sure I'm ready now even though I believe in talking about mental illness with everything in me. That's why I'm just going to put it out there anyway.

Today is Bell Let's Talk day which is all about ending the stigma of mental illness and helping raise funds for mental health. I don't have a Bell phone line, and most of my friends have iPhones (iMessage and BBMs don't count), but I can tweet up a storm and I'm happy to share the Bell Let's Talk image on Facebook. (Go do it from this link so you get counted.)

When we have the flu, we go to the doctor. We go to the doctor with broken bones. We shout from the rooftops when we have cancer, because it sucks so bad that so many get it and there's no cure. We aren't afraid to tell people about these kinds of health issues, so WHY is it so hard to admit when we're struggling with mental health issues?

It shouldn't be. It's a sickness in a part of our body that needs treatment and attention. So, let's talk about it. Share your struggles so it's no longer considered a weakness. And if you don't have mental health issues, show your support. The world will truly be a better place for it.

A long-overdue, epic tale of a long overdue, epic trip

Back in September of 2012, I declared to Matt that I would be going to Florida for Christmas. My primary motivation was that it had just been way too long since I'd seen my family. (Five years, y'all.) But there's an ever-so-slightly embarrassing to admit motivation.

I wanted to go to Blogworld (renamed New Media Expo-NMX). The conference is a story for another day. The reason it was motivation is because I promised myself two years ago that I wouldn't go to any US conferences before I went back to see my family. I just couldn't do it. 

The only snag was that all - and I mean every last bit - of my travel documentation was long-expired. I needed a new passport. I needed a new PR card. But I don't need to go over my inability to complete paperwork in a timely manner again. I got everything in plenty of time to do both trips without any issues.

I was also really excited that Ford Ottawa granted me the use of the new Ford C-Max for the trip. Brandon has had anxiety when I've brought home strange cars before, so I told him it was our "Florida Car" and that is what it remained the entire two weeks it was in our possession.

The Florida Car

In my typical last-minute fashion, I didn't pack until the night before. Unfortunately, I had errands to run in the east end of Ottawa after taking Brandon to speech therapy and everything ended up taking longer than usual. B and I didn't get home until very late and I'd frantically texted Matt to ask him to pull together anything he thought Brandon would need for the trip other than clothes. He did and it was impressively good!

I got everything packed away in our ginormous suitcase, leaving the mid-sized suitcase empty with the thought that we'd just put our gifts and anything else we bought in there for the trip home. Unfortunately, we ran into trouble fitting all of our suitcases in the C-Max. It's always fun to re-think your packing decisions 5 minutes before you're planning to leave.

At this point, I made a truly poor decision. I started using re-usable grocery bags. One for each use. This one for stops. This one for snacks. This one for that. I blame the poor decisions on my frazzled mind that was trying to keep a very excited little boy from bursting and maintain some semblance of organization. Ultimately, we got packed and on the road - we were only an hour or two late leaving.

Lesson 1 when traveling with a 4-year-old: Flexibility is key.

We made it many hours before we needed to stop. I think I actually waited until we got down to Pennsylvania. Driving the C-Max that first day was a dream. The sky was overcast (rain was coming!) and there was no precipitation (yet), so I got to know the car in easy driving conditions. Brandon loved watching the reverse camera. He'd have been quite happy to watch what was going on behind us the whole trip.

There came a point when I needed to take a break. Ideally one that would allow us to have food and a bathroom break. Brandon didn't agree. His view was that it could wait until we got to Florida. 

Lesson 2 when travelling with a 4-year-old: Bribery is allowed.

I love road trips in the US because it means I get to eat at Cracker Barrel. The longer the road trip, the more Cracker Barrels I get to eat at. What I learned from our first foray into Cracker Barrel was that a) Brandon really loves rocking chairs and b) the bribery possibilities are endless - and affordable. Check out my first bribe - a violin that he'd been asking us to buy for months - $10. For lunch and a washroom, that was a bargain. No tears, no screaming, no fussing. 

First trip to Cracker Barrel. First bribe of the trip.

Too bad it required batteries. Too bad the battery case was closed with a screw. Guess what I didn't have: batteries and a screwdriver.

The first night on the road was rough. We stopped early because B got upset. He was hungry and tired of being in the car and it was raining out. We were just done. I stopped as soon as I could when we were almost at the Pennsylvania border. Three hours north of Richmond, where I'd booked a hotel.

Lesson 3 when traveling with a 4-year-old: Flexibility is key.

That was pretty much how the trip went while we were driving. Although, luckily for Brandon our hotel that first night was right beside a Home Depot. We got batteries and a screwdriver for his violin. The soundtrack of that second day isn't something you'd want to hear for 10 hours.

The sound of touch-sensitive violin in a car.

On the third day, we finally pulled into Tallahassee and I felt tears welling as soon as we got to the first exit on the opposite end of town from where my family lives. Despite my desire to just get home, I took a scenic route, telling Brandon all about the places we drove past, showing him where I went to school. It's a surprisingly emotional thing to share the history of your life with your child. This was my first time doing it.

We finally arrived at my dad's house and went in to see my dad, brother, sister-in-law and nieces for the first time in five years. It was my first time meeting two of my brother's girls.

One of the loveliest parts of the trip was seeing Brandon bond so quickly with his cousins. They played together so well, settling in to a normal sibling dynamic that was solid after just a few days.

Bonding with his cousins.

Decorating gingerbread men. Those cookies didn't last long.

Brandon made himself comfortable, especially with his Grandpa. Dad was a constant source of curiosity for Brandon - I believe his first words to Dad were "He has a mustache". He dragged his toys to dad's room and made himself comfortable, playing and talking with his grandfather. It was so good to see them together finally.

Brandon had no trouble volunteering his Grandpa to read to him.

Christmas morning was certainly one of the most fun I've had. I haven't ever had so many kids around. Children really do make it so much more fun. My younger brother did lots of cooking while we were there - both of my brothers are far more talented at cooking than I am. They also both enjoy it. I do not.

It was hard waiting for Christmas to come and when it finally did, Brandon showed so much patience. But eventually it ran out and he woke up the entire house.

Cousins

My dad and brother both were amazed at the amount of technology in the C-Max. In particular, I think my brother was just stunned that I could kick my foot and the back hatch would open. Seriously, you have no idea how many times that was handy to have on this trip. Just as being able to voice text hands-free in the car (the texts were pretty funny - oh, Siri) was incredibly useful.

This was my first time driving such a long distance and having the GPS was so nice. I knew exactly how far I had to go at any given time. I knew I wasn't going to get lost either. And the gas. Apart from being in the US, where gas prices are so much lower than in Canada, I used roughly half as much gas just by driving the C-Max hybrid. By the end of the trip, I didn't want to give the C-Max back and I didn't want to leave Florida.  

The important thing, though, was teaching Brandon about his southern heritage.

Southern sweet iced tea. I have taught him well.

I got to spend one week. Just 7 days visiting, catching up, spending time in the same room as my family. It wasn't long enough. Not by a long shot. I don't want to go so long between trips again. Family is so precious. I want Brandon to know his family in Florida. Technology has made the world a lot smaller now. I can text my brothers without having to pay for it. I can call them on Facetime without having to pay long distance charges. But nothing beats sitting face-to-face with someone you love and being able to talk.

Coming home to Matt and Christmas #2 was every bit as good as seeing my family had been.

Back home to have Christmas again.

Dad, it took me long enough to write about our Christmas together. I think this one was our best visit ever. I love you and I hope you have a very Happy Birthday today!

I have this odd compulsion to do things when I'm crazy busy

The last two months have been some of the busiest times for me ever. Between the trip I took to Florida, then Las Vegas/Seattle and finally coming back and getting sick two days later, I'm behind on everything. 

So, of course, that's a good time to redesign my blog and move it to a new version of the platform I'm on. Right?

Riiiiiiiiight.

There's a method to my madness. Sort of. It's a long-term planning maneuver. I often test functionality and features on my personal website that I'm considering using for my business site.

All of what I just said is totally true. The only real catch is that I didn't need to do this now. I could have waited until I was less busy and had other more pressing priorities completed. 

So why now?

Because I'm like a dog with a bone. Once an idea jumps into my head, I have to test it out and see it through and I think I needed brain breaks from other things I was doing.

So, here it is. What do you think? :)

PS - I have to do some blogging soon or my brain is going to burst with all the stuff I need to write about. Consider this warning that your feed from me will no longer remain empty long-term.

On the road to "home"

Although Ottawa has become my home and I can’t imagine living anywhere else, I also still think of the US/Florida/Tallahassee as my home. Yesterday I ventured across the border for the first time in over 5 years. There’s a combination of reasons for this delay - the most embarrassing is that I let all my travel documents expire. (Don’t do that, okay?)

So, we left Ottawa yesterday morning - not nearly as early as I’d hoped, but such is life! Brandon fell asleep on our way to the border and was snoring softly as I waited in line to see the border guard. We passed through without any issues, though Brandon did wake up because the car had stopped moving. And, despite staying up very late the night before, that was the last he slept in the car all day.

A couple of hours later, we both got hungry and when I saw a Cracker Barrel sign, I couldn’t resist! 

Also, they had a violin, and Brandon has been asking for one for weeks! (Score!) Unfortunately, it requires batteries and the cover is screwed on. I didn’t pack batteries or a screwdriver for this trip. (Fail!)

After getting through the lovely rush-hour traffic in Harrisburg, PA, Brandon said his tummy was grumpy. Combine, windy roads, rain and dark and his first epic road trip and it’s understandable. We ended up stopped 3 hours shy of our goal.

That means we won’t get to Tallahassee until Sunday, but it’s all good. I’m enjoying the time with Brandon. He’s a good co-pilot.

A little side note: we’re also really enjoying driving in the Ford C-Max that Ford Ottawa gave me to use for this trip. It doesn’t look very large, but it’s nice and roomy. There isn’t as much cargo space as I would like and I had to ditch one of the suitcases I’d planned to bring along, but packing light isn’t a bad thing! 

I’m going to talk about it some more later, especially since I’m honestly considering it as a second vehicle now that I’ve driven it. (Of course, I’m not sure when we’ll finally get around to getting a second vehicle!) I’ve tried out the Ford Edge, the new Focus and now the C-Max and the C-Max is my favourite so far. 

Best part? Filling it up isn’t nearly as painful as when I fill up my other car. And we won’t get into the difference in what we’re paying in Canada compared to the US. It’s bad, you guys.

Sunrise to sunset: a beautiful, but tragic day

As I drove in to work this morning, I had the urge no less than about 20 times to stop the car and get out my camera to capture the sunrise. I was so captivated by it. The sun was this huge orange ball in the sky, slowly rising into obscurity behind a bank of clouds, only to slowly peek out again over them. For 30 minutes, I watched as it got higher and higher, hoping that when I (finally) got to a place where I could stop that it wouldn’t be too late to take the pictures I wanted.

This wasn’t the most stunning part of the sunrise, but it was still very pretty. The day started out with this beauty that fascinated me. I became obsessed with capturing that beauty, even if only a piece of it, to look back and remember.

It’s hard to believe that with such a beautiful start to the day it would just hours later turn to grief and heartache for the community of Newtown, Connecticut. The sun no doubt rose over Sandy Hook Elementary in similar brilliant fashion. But I’ll never understand what drove a young man to murder his mother, eight of her colleagues and 18 children. There is no doubt in my mind that he was a very troubled young man. 

This mass shooting - a horrendous tragedy - has had a profound effect on me. I’ve never cried before. I did today. I cried because my own little boy is in school and I know I would be devastated if he witnessed or was injured or even killed through similar circumstances.

All afternoon, I fought tears in my effort to maintain a professional front. All I wanted to do was go pick Brandon up from daycare and hold him close. Though I ended up working late, that’s exactly what I did. I gave him a big hug and then we just hung out together. 

He helped me smile again, despite the sadness of the day.

The best part of the day was bedtime. I lay in his bed snuggled with him where he told me he loves me very much. And I cried, because I love him so much too, but also because hearing those words out of my little guy’s mouth is one of the sweetest things I could ever receive. I can count on my hands how many times I’ve heard those three words pass his lips, but tonight he said it three times. 

It’s almost like he knew I needed to hear it. He let me snuggle with him and hug him close and tell him I love him back. And I stayed with him until he dropped off to sleep.

My heart aches for the parents and loved ones who won’t ever hear their children say they love them or get to hug and snuggle with them again. I hope and pray that they have beautiful memories to cherish. Most of all, I hope they find peace. The Sandy Hook children and faculty will not be forgotten. 

Day 16 - Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Photo Credit: Kym Shumsky (Relishing.ca)These prompts. And yet, like a bad book that leads one to question the merits of the entire publishing industry, I have to know how it will end. 

Snow. I miss our Indian Summer and winter has barely even begun.

Late nights, though they do contribute to my current blogging binge. (Goal for 2013: a little consistency in frequency.)

Paperwork. I can’t think of anything, other than going to the dentist, that I procrastinate on more than paperwork.

My bed. Okay, so I don’t really want to give up my bed entirely, but the current one is not in great shape, due in part to the human sized ruts on either side of it. Supposedly, the non-flipping mattresses are better than the ones that you flip. Could’ve fooled me. 

That’s five things I could live without. I’m off to book a massage for my neck and shoulders now.

Am I enough?

As a mother I find myself doubting my worth far too often. I know I’m not alone.

When I see stories of families who are raising children with special needs (of any kind) there is almost always some amazing hook to the story.

Maybe the mom is teaching her kids the alphabet thru cooking with whole foods that have no sugar or any preservatives.

Maybe the dad has taught his kids to sing and all six children are learning different instruments to become the next Von Trap family.

I, however, feel very average. I’m not crafty or artistic. (Matt will tell you. I draw a frog and it looks like a deformed cat.)

What can I do to help Brandon discover the best parts of himself? How can I facilitate that which I don’t yet even know myself?

One thing I know without a doubt: Brandon is the child of my dreams. I longed to hold him in my arms for six long years. He’s brought so much joy to our lives.

I will make him laugh.

I will teach him interesting (and occasionally boring) things.

I will be silly with him.

I will guide him.

Somehow, what I have to offer will be enough.

Day 15 - Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Photo Credit: Kym Shumsky (Relishing.ca)

I’m starting to regret the impulsive decision I made two years ago to do this list. Questions like this one irk me because, apart from the necessities of life, there is nothing and no one I can’t live without. 

There are, however, people I wouldn’t want to live without. Matt is one of them. And yes, I have tried to live without him. I survived, but it wasn’t fun. I’m glad I have him. 

I knew for most of my adult life that I would likely lose my mother early, but losing her at 28 was a shock. It would be too soon at 40 or 50, too. I’ve survived without her and I’ve chosen to find joy in what I have rather than focus on what I’m missing out on. 

I’m not even going to think about the possibility of living without Brandon. 

Life just doesn’t give us the option to choose the path we want. Feeling sorry for not having things a certain way accomplishes nothing. I’ve grieved my losses and I won’t ever forget. I can’t move on and experience the fullness of life if I’m caught up in the past.

Paperwork is the bane of my existence

I have held many roles in my professional life that have had administrative components, but fortunately for me (and my employers), I have rarely had to be responsible for large amounts of paperwork. 

For me, there is no greater torture in life than being tied to a desk, reading instructions on how to fill out a form or gathering up supporting documentation. I generally do whatever I can to avoid such tasks. 

Most of the time, people like me are prone to missing application deadlines or letting documentation expire. Like my permanent resident card, which expired in December 2009 and my passport, which expired in January 2010. 

Friends have been asking me for over two years if I’m going to BlogHer. My answer for the last two years has been no - I need to visit my family before I go to any conferences in the U.S. That was followed quickly by, “Besides, all my travel documents have expired.”

Then Lara and I started talking very seriously about going to Blogworld in Las Vegas in January 2013 for business. This was right around the same time that I decided that Brandon and I would be driving down to spend this Christmas in Florida. 

I found that I could keep my commitment of not going to any major blog conferences in the U.S. before visiting the family. Just barely. I’ll get back to Ottawa on December 30th or 31st and I fly out to Vegas on January 5th. 

Of course, when the decisions were all made, the only worry I had was getting my passport and permanent resident card renewed (with my married name on my passport this time!) in time to make both trips. I put Matt in charge of Brandon’s passport. I could only handle so much paperwork.

Then I got busy procrastinating. I said I was going to get the paperwork all completed by the end of Labour Day week. Every time I looked at it, I let the little details bog me down. By mid-October, I’d only completed a few small tasks related to both applications. At this point, I was risking both trips if there were any delays processing my applications. Buying my conference ticket, then plane ticket and booking the hotel were great motivators, though.

You see, when I first applied for a Permanent Resident card back in 2004, I submitted my application over four months prior to my planned trip - just as the site advised. I would have sent it eight months early had I known they wouldn’t look at it for four months. I finally called to check the status just three weeks before I was to fly down to Florida and was told that the day before the entire application had been returned to me to resolve an error. 

There’s a good chance I cried when they told me that. I know I was really stressed. I was going to spend Christmas with my family for the first time since I’d moved to Canada and 2004 was one of my mom’s worst years for hospitalizations. 

The error? One of the certified copies, signed by a P.Eng, had the year 1973 in the date, which was clearly a case of the person looking at Matt’s birthdate and just putting that year down by mistake. We had our P.Eng friend re-sign, date and couriered the whole package back right away.

The day before my flight was to leave, I received a call that my PR card was ready and I could pick it up between 9:00am and 2:00pm. The call came at 2:30. My flight was leaving the next morning before 9:00.

I got on my flight without the card. And 10 days later, when I nervously went through customs, the officer didn’t even blink when I handed him my passport sans PR card. 

I would be lying if I said that I was relieved. No, I was actually kind of ticked that I’d jumped through so many hoops and stressed so much about this card that, apparently, didn’t matter as much as they said it did.

But life goes on and that silly card expired a short five years later.

I did the paperwork this time so carefully. I didn’t want any issues cropping up that would cause them to send back my application. Everything I copied was checked and double-checked to be sure that the copy was good and the date of certification was correct. All my ducks were in a nice, neat little row.

I was sure this time would go more smoothly.

I finally sent my application off exactly 90 days before I was to leave for Las Vegas, which also happened to be how long they said apps would take to process. I only need the PR card for commercial travel, so I don’t need it for Florida since I’m driving. I sent off an inch thick package of paper to the Government of Canada for this PR card and I sent a slim little envelope to the U.S. State Department with all original documents for my Passport. (Guess which application was WAY easier? Yes, the passport, which makes exactly zero sense to me.) 

Two weeks after sending off my applications, my entire PR card app was returned to me. AGAIN.

Why?

After I double, triple (and possibly quadruple) checking that everything was done and ready and in the right order, I FORGOT TO SIGN IT!

We sent it back right away by courier (again) and just two weeks later, on the same day, my passport and PR card arrived in the mail. I was beyond thrilled.

Aren’t those unsmiling pictures on IDs just awesome!?

Ten more years of not worrying about my passport and ideally, by the time the PR card is expired again I’ll no longer need it at all. After all, I’ve been eligible for Canadian citizenship for 9 years now.

Unfortunately, applying for citizenship requires me to do more paperwork.

There's quite a bit of grey to think about with Black Friday

This week, I’ve been frustrated with some comments about Black Friday. For many, the idea of Black Friday is wrong. I understand where they’re coming from, but the reality is that as long as consumers show up, the hype isn’t going to die down. 

Black Friday used to be more commonly known as “the day after Thanksgiving”. For as long as I can remember, that day has marked the official kick off to Christmas shopping. I have personally gone shopping on the day after Thanksgiving to take advantage of the sales as I completed my shopping lists for Christmas.

I once worked 14 hours on the day after Thanksgiving. I was absolutely exhausted by the end of the day. The atmosphere was happy, energetic, excited. People were gearing up for my personal favorite holiday of the year - Christmas. Working that day was actually fun. I was even interviewed for the local news.

Though the term “Black Friday” has been around for decades, it became a marketing ploy only in the last decade.

As with most things, the press has taken isolated yet extreme incidents and created an impression of rampant violence fueled by the greed of American consumers. 

I’m not a fan of what Black Friday has become. I think many of the “deals” are suspect and it saddens me to see shoppers worked into a frenzy to spend money in order to save a few dollars. If I lived in the US, I would no longer participate in any way with what it has become. I also won’t participate in the burgeoning Black Friday sales that have made their way into Canada. (And, for the record, we avoid Boxing Day as well.)

There’s been a lot of disturbing criticism of Black Friday that hits home to me, because it comes across as judgmental, uses generalizations or makes accusations of hypocrisy. 

The judgmental criticism is usually centered around the idea that Thanksgiving is a time to spend with family. And I totally agree. The Black Friday sales that are creeping into Thanksgiving Day (Black Thursday) - ugh. I just hope people boycott those retailers. However, the day after Thanksgiving sales really aren’t any different than Boxing Day in Canada. And though there haven’t been the same reports of the kinds of crazed shoppers that have happened in the US, it doesn’t mean that can’t or won’t happen here. 

I’ve seen a lot of generalizations that lump all Americans into various unflattering categories (both implied and explicit) - selfish, materialistic, greedy, etc. Sometimes generalizations can be used to make a point and recognizing that they are generalizations can soften the impact. But there are a lot of people in the US who are really good people. Some of them choose not to participate in Black Friday. Others do participate. The vast majority of the shopping that goes on happens with long waits, but customers remain civilized. Unfortunately, that’s boring, so it doesn’t make the news or internet memes. 

Finally there’s the hypocrisy claims. Suddenly it’s bad to be thankful Thursday and then go out and buy things Friday. I could probably come up with a list of dozens of reasons that people might be out shopping that don’t have anything to do with acquiring more posessions. One happens to be the original purpose of Black Friday - Christmas shopping (presumably for others). And so what if I go out and buy something new for myself? Does doing so the day after Thanksgiving make me somehow less thankful?

Instead of questioning the motivations of those who are going out on Black Friday to shop, perhaps it’s more productive to think about the reasons we’ve gotten to the point of frenzied shopping in the first place.

1. We have had years of downturn in the economy, workers who can’t find jobs, etc. 
2. There is more pressure than ever before to keep up with all the latest and greatest stuff - affordable or not.
3. People want to save money wherever they can to live up to a certain standard.
4. Some people think they will feel better if they go shopping (retail therapy).

I’m not so naive that I think everyone is out there due to misfortune or for altruistic reasons. However, I know that not everyone is out there for the negative reasons that are being thrown about on social media lately. 

There are over 300 million imperfect humans in the US. There are over 30 million imperfect humans in Canada. Both countries have their pros and cons. Both countries have awesome people and not-so-awesome people. Neither country is better than the other. 

In my opinion, it is foolish to think that Canada is immune to these kinds of incidents, especially as they’ve already happened here before. So, perhaps it’s time to stop being critical and start speaking with your feet by walking away from Black Friday. That’s the only way retailers are ever going to tone it down.

Anticipation and thanks

Source: USA Federal HolidaysToday is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. 

I miss it.

The last time I truly celebrated Thanksgiving with my family was 12 years ago. It was the same week I left Florida to move to Canada. 

Thanksgiving was always a special time. My mom and I stayed up ridiculously late nearly every year mixing fillings and rolling out pie crusts. We always made about seven pies. Two to three pumpkin, one cherry (for me), one mincemeat, one-two pecan, sometimes apple. We packed them up in our two big Tupperware pie carriers and loaded them in the car for the trek to my great uncle and aunt’s house. They lived on a river and we drove three hours every Thanksgiving morning with the whole family in tow to bring our contribution to the annual family gathering.

We always stopped in the same diner in Perry, Florida. I always tried to avoid breathing in the putrid smell of the paper mill. Eventually I gave up and tried to get used to it. Both attempts were futile - it’s too pungent to block or get used to in a short one-hour visit.

By the time we got to my great uncle and aunt’s house, some family had already arrived and lunch preparations were well underway. Thankfully, there was time for a lengthy trip in the canoe or a lively croquet match amongst the trees in the front yard. Sometimes some of the family would even go fishing. The adults enjoyed time together visiting and catching up on the news of the year. My brothers and I, along with our cousins, scattered to the places we were most interested in on that particular day. 

I don’t think I went a single year without heading out in the canoe. Or the motorboat if my cousin was up to it. I even enjoyed playing croquet. We found ways to make a seemingly boring game fun. (Hint: It is incredibly satisfying to send your brother’s or father’s formerly-in-the-lead ball flying well off the course.)

This year I’m thankful that in a few short weeks I’m going to have the absolute pleasure of introducing my family to my most amazing little boy for the very first time. I’m going to meet my two youngest nieces that I have only known in pictures since their births. 

Every time I think about it, I want to whoop for joy and do cartwheels (except I never learned how). It’s way past time for a visit and I sincerely hope I never go this long without seeing my family ever again.

Whether you’re in the U.S. today or not - be thankful for the people who make up your family. Whether you’ve chosen them, they’ve chosen you or you were thrown together by forces of nature. And if you’re close enough, give them a hug.

Our first parent-teacher interview

Yesterday I posted about the impact that a strike could have on our family - particularly with Brandon’s need for consistency - if current talks with the union representatives don’t lead to resolution and acceptable compromise for both sides. Again, I don’t have a concept of what’s being asked and I refuse to put any teacher or school staff person into a box with a label - good or bad. My employment details aren’t out there for public consumption and I refuse to use any label on a situation that I’m not experiencing first-hand.

What I know is that we have a teacher who genuinely cares about our son. She is the quintessential kindergarten teacher - incredibly smart, creative, energetic, attuned to the needs and readiness of all of the children to receive what she has to offer. 

We had our very first parent-teacher interview tonight and Brandon’s teacher proved she’s worth her weight in gold first by scheduling us last in the day, knowing there would be a need for extra time. Interviews were booked in 20 minute increments. She spent twice that amount of time with us. 

She focused on the positive, showing us example after example of progress Brandon has made and how he’s growing in his interactions with his peers. It’s wonderful to hear that the other children are understanding - and even supportive - of his special needs. 

I remember years ago that my mom told me that my kindergarten teacher was not one of her favorite teachers of mine. This is significant as they were not only in a parent-student relationship, but they were colleagues since I attended the school where my mother taught. I feel quite certain that my mom would not only like, but genuinely respect Brandon’s teacher. 

I know I do.

It’s fairly surreal to have a child who is attending school. I’m just so very glad that it’s going so well. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I couldn’t have asked for a better group to entrust my son’s education and well-being to. 

Strike or no strike, I still have lots of reasons to be grateful for Brandon's school experience

A week ago Friday, I rifled through Brandon’s school bag to see what was left by his teacher and found a labour disruption notice. As of Monday, Nov. 12, the OSSTF is in a position to go on strike. This union covers a wide range of services, which I’m going to way oversimplify by saying they are support staff (that’s not even close to being entirely true, by the way). I’m only categorizing them this way because those are the staff that have a direct impact on my son if I understand correctly. According to the letter sent home with Brandon, members of this union will be implementing a partial withdrawal of services.

Brandon’s school’s teachers will be in a position to strike in December. I realized tonight that I haven’t asked about the potential impact this may have on his daycare arrangements. I’m going to choose not to think about that part for now. 

I will say this, though: As a parent, I’m concerned. As a parent of a child who has special needs, I’m extremely concerned. Disruption of Brandon’s routine can be upsetting for him to the point that he can’t function. He loved being at his daycare all summer, but he’s become used to the routine and stimulation that being in school provides. The first professional development (PD) day of the year, I had to leave work early to pick Brandon up. The change in routine was so drastic and even with preparation, he didn’t understand why he wasn’t going to school. Even though he was doing fun activities with his friends at daycare and the daycare staff that he absolutely adores, the change in his routine was too much to process.

Parents have known this entire school year that a strike is possible. I don’t know all the issues that the unions are discussing and I am not qualified to make a judgment as to the union’s motivation. I have no comment on any of that. All I know is that if a strike happens, the losers will be our children. They will miss days or weeks of established routines. Days or weeks of learning. Days or weeks with the social environment. Days or weeks of progress. There’s probably a million things I could name that they’ll miss out on. 

I have no doubt that the Province of Ontario could do a better job with education. 

I remember being horrified the first time I heard about teachers going on strike after I moved to Canada. In Florida, the state constitution doesn’t allow teachers to strike. I’m sure there’s a comprehensive list of pros and cons that can be debated, but I can’t help but think that it’s a good thing that school goes on. In my entire life, I never had to miss a day of school because teachers went on strike.

For me, I don’t think a strike would have been a great hardship. For my son, it could be devastating until he gets used to a new routine. Once school resumes, he’d have to return to his school routine and that would inevitably be a difficult transition.

I have nothing but respect for the job that teachers do. I was a music education major and had to drop out when I realized that it wasn’t the right field for me. It’s unbelievably hard to teach. Good teachers should be valued far more than they are.It may sound as if I am anti-teachers, but I’m not. The gratitude I feel toward Brandon’s teacher - who is a lovely, sweet, wonderful woman - cannot be easily expressed in words. I can’t find the words to tell you how much I appreciate what she’s done for him. It seriously brings tears of gratitude nearly every time I think about it. Here’s just a few examples of why she’s worth at least twice her weight in gold:

• A one-hour call before the start of school to get to know Brandon’s special needs.
• Regular emails advising us on how he’s doing.
• Permission for him to bring a special toy to school while he acclimates to the new routine.
• Booking us at the end of the day of parent-teacher interviews to allow extra time for discussion about how to help Brandon.
• Telling us how much she loves having him in her class.
• Willingness to implement suggestions from Brandon’s therapists.

That last one is huge for us and I have a story about it: I am not a dollar store shopper. I rarely go into them and, in fact, generally dislike their existence. However, at Brandon’s age and since we need to buy supplies for some of the suggestions we get from the therapists, the dollar store is the best option. One evening, I took Brandon with me and let him wander looking for something he wanted to get while I browsed craft supplies. It was after 6pm, just down the road from Brandon’s school - well after school was out for the day.

Who was there? Brandon’s teacher. And she was loading up her basket with all sorts of supplies. Every last thing she had, she pulled out to show me and and told me how she would be using it to implement one suggestion or another from his daycare or therapists. 

I’m pretty sure she didn’t use her school board credit card to pay for it either. 

Brandon’s teacher and principal worked with the school’s educational assistant (EA) staff to find one that could help assist him during his transitions from daycare to school and back. They did this to accommodate his needs, even though they hadn’t anticipated the necessity when budgeting for staff and alloting time for the year.

The school - and especially Brandon’s teacher and principal - have bent over backwards for him.

This is how school should be for every child, in my opinion. Their individual needs met by staff who are caring and concerned. 

So, while some are upset with teachers and perceive them as greedy and uncaring of the children, I know that this couldn’t be further from the truth - at least not all the time. I sincerely hope that a strike doesn’t happen. In truth, I wish that the government would find a way to ensure that a strike never happens again. However, I would not want them to do so in such a way that would suffocate the teachers’ and other education staff’s right to better working conditions and/or pay. 

As the daughter of a special education teacher, I can’t help but support teachers like Brandon’s who exemplify what I’ve always hoped my son would experience with his teachers. I’ve experienced first-hand, from watching my mom, just how hard teachers who care work for their students. I’ve felt the impact of having teachers who are passionate about helping kids learn. I value that contribution to the world at large and I’ll always be grateful when we are blessed with teachers like Brandon’s. 

An epic quest for a stand mixer

My friend Rebecca posted a contest for a KitchenAid stand mixer on her blog recently (sorry, it’s now closed!) and I shared the post on the Karen’s Chronicles Facebook page (hint: if you missed it, you should like me so you don’t next time!) with a note that I was fine with not winning - the contest was just fun! Besides, I have a stand mixer with a crazy epic story that’s been going strong for about six or seven years now. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long since we got it! Becky was curious about the story, so here it is:

My stand mixer isn’t one you’ll find on store shelves anymore. Shortly after we bought it (on eBay) we found out that the entire line of small appliances from this particular company was being discontinued. Initially, we were surprised, but then we thought about what had happened with our purchase and it made sense.

Gorgeous, aren’t they!? I would have bought the matching blender, but I was scared to. (Image Source)

It’s a shame, because the products are really gorgeous. In truth, the look puts even KitchenAid’s latest (incredible) colours to shame because the design is so beautiful. I am not overly concerned with how my small appliances look, but these stand mixers were too pretty to pass up. And they were from Jenn-Air - a high-end maker of appliances.

It just goes to show that the outside can be the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen, but if it’s not well-made inside, it’s not worth the materials used to make it.

This little beauty came to us from a Maytag store down in Arizona. It is one heavy beast, but even with $75 shipping, it was still less expensive than buying retail in Canada.

The day it arrived, we unpacked and immediately tried it out. Fortunately, I tried it without actually attempting to make anything because after turning it on and off once, then turning it back on, it wouldn’t work. Then a little piece of metal fell out of the stand mixer. Clearly it was broken. 

Matt contacted the seller and they told us it was under warranty, so we could contact Maytag Canada to have it fixed or get a new one. What neither of us knew yet was that shipping it across the border voided the warranty.

Yes, somehow having that thing go from Arizona to Ontario made it no longer okay to fix. That is seriously wrong, but you know what the guy in Arizona did? He sent us a new stand on his dime. Yep - $75 more in shipping. We unpacked it and there was no bowl or accessories (understandable - they were all fine) and we asked if we should ship the old one back. He said no.

Stand #2 didn’t work and something was wrong with the elbow. It wasn’t lining up correctly and it was really obvious. That’s not good when you’re going to have high speed spinning happening. So, we contacted the seller again, who was once again very gracious and sent us a third stand - and no, we didn’t have to send either of the first two back or pay for shipping.

Stand #3 still had problems. I don’t even remember what it was, but Matt’s pretty handy and we felt terrible about how this had all gone down for the poor guy down in Arizona. So, Matt cracked open those stands and figured out how to scavenge parts from them to make one of the stands operable.

It worked! We have been using that same mixer for the last 6 or 7 years we’ve had it. We also moved all three heavy beasts from our apartment to our new home so that we could continue scavenging for parts as required. So far, it hasn’t been required.

I still feel so bad for and grateful for the seller down in Arizona. He was wonderful and I doubt he made any money on that sale, but he sure went the extra mile for us. 

So, I can see why Jenn-Air took their small appliances off the market. They weren’t up to the Jenn-Air standard of quality and that’s not worth affecting your reputation on your main line of business, large appliances. I still really enjoy my stand mixer and I love that it has the gorgeous red bowl. I hope it lasts for a few more decades!

But if it doesn’t, I will have no problem with buying a KitchenAid stand mixer. :)