Tug of War

I’ve totally got them fooled about the “connected” part. ;)The past week has been full of emotion and a lot of it stems from changes that I knew were coming and some things were thrown at me out of the blue. I can’t say it’s all been good. Nor can I say it’s all been bad.

Actually, the good things have been really, really good - like being invited to attend She’s Connected next week. My first blogging/digital media conference. I couldn’t be more excited to go and learn from the speakers and panelists. And meet more bloggers that I’ve “met” online.

Some of the good is just personal stuff that will make our lives easier. Any change that makes life easier gets a thumbs up from me.

In the mixed feelings category, yesterday I found out that there isn’t a position (at the moment) for me within the company that I’m currently working for on contract. I was on contract and I knew an end date would come. That’s straight-forward enough. I’m always interested to see what opportunities may come up. However, I am still weary of searching for jobs after my five month stint last year after being laid off. Part of my strategy with taking the contract was to take a little time and see if the job market was improved for me this year. Pretty soon, I’ll see if my plan pays off.

The bad has been rough, though. There was hurt and some tears; trust was damaged and possibly broken. For good? I don’t know. It was truly disturbing, though, and I’m still trying to figure it all out. I learned a couple of things about myself through it which is good. It’s too bad the hardest parts of life are often the catalyst for learning the most about yourself.

All I know is that this game of tug of war with my emotions is actually really exhausting. Maybe I could just have a couple of normal, passive days where nothing extreme or out of the ordinary happens. Then again, when I look at the next week coming up, I know that’s highly unlikely.