December 11 – 11 Things (#reverb10)

December 11 – 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

Drama. As if I have control over this. Well, except with myself. I try to stay out of drama as much as possible. It finds me, just like it finds everyone else and it causes stress. But I do my best not to contribute and make things worse. When friends are in the thick of it, I lend an ear and occasional advice and that’s more than enough involvement for me.

Conflict. 2010 was a year with more conflict in it than I’ve ever previously experienced. But I survived and even came out of it with some personal growth skills that will stick for a long time to come. There are benefits to learning to deal with conflict, but I am sincerely looking forward to less of it in 2011. Conflict is not fun, nor is it conducive to lessening stress.

Stress. The bad kind. The kind that I had an overabundance of in 2010. Some stress is fine, but I’d very much like to stick to the low end of that scale in 2011. Between the drama of relationships that went horribly awry this year, to sickness at inopportune times, to adjusting to finding myself in situations I’d never experienced before, I think I’ve had just about all I want of the “bad” kind of stress for a while. 

Fat. Yeah, getting rid of the fat is going to be good. And I’m not talking metaphorically here. I’m being literal. I struggle with being overweight and I’m working to not be overweight. 2011 is my year to make it happen, even though the process began in 2010. I hope to see the end - my goal weight - come in 2011.

Laziness. Excuses are all-too-often convenient ways to cover up for my worst character trait of being lazy. If I’m too tired to go work out, it’s usually just my way of saying I don’t feel like it and that I’d rather be lazy. I’d like to kick my very own laziness to the curb in 2011.

Defeatism. “I can’t do it” are words that I can’t allow myself to say anymore. I’ve been pushing myself to do things this year that I never dreamed of doing, but that has to carry over into 2011. I can do so much more than I ever realized I could and that, more than anything else, has been the overall lesson learned in 2010. My new motto is “I CAN do it.”

Negativity. This goes hand-in-hand with the defeatism, but it’s more about seeing myself and my accomplishments in a positive light. Looking for the silver lining instead of focusing on the black cloud.

Self-Consciousness. I am who I am and I like the person I am, so I have to stop worrying so much about how others see me. That’s a confidence that we all need a little more of every now and then.

Doubt. My choices are the right ones at the time that I make them. Even when regrets set in or things don’t go quite the way I planned, that doesn’t mean the choice was wrong. It just means I need to give things/myself time to settle in and see what happens. I don’t want to doubt my instincts so much in 2011. It’s not fun to constantly second-guess something that you were once 100% sure about.

Fat clothes. When I finally get to box up the last of my plus-sized clothes and send them off to some person who needs them more than I do, I’m going to do cartwheels (in my mind). Okay, maybe I’ll attempt to do one for realsies - but I’ve never done one so maybe not. I don’t want fat clothes in my closet anymore. Getting rid of them and the weight will open me up to the wardrobe I really want. And I’ll get to go clothes shopping. ;)

Fear. Of what people will think if I say no. Of what they will think if I have to change my “yes” to a “no”. I am human and there are a finite number of hours in a day. I can’t help everyone and I can’t do everything I want to commit to doing. Life will go on if I’m not the one doing those things. It isn’t a need for control (at least, not always); it is more preventing disappointing other people. They’re human, too. So, they understand. That’s what I’m finally getting through my thick skull.