I've finally figured out how to get to sleep

To be honest, I didn’t actually figure it out. Lara told me about it.I have an app on my phone called Deep Sleep. When Lara described it to me, I thought it sounded like such a scam. But I figured that anything that gets her brain to stop turning was worth a shot. 

Imagine my surprise when I realized it works! It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, I listen to this app and fall asleep. 

It’s better than any sleeping pill and works a lot faster. 

There’s a whole bunch of apps - to help you lose weight, build confidence, get over social awkwardness and all of them are to be used when you go to sleep. Do they work? I have no clue and I don’t think I’d even care. To me, it’s worth $3 to get some sleep. 

Wordless Wednesday: Sleepy

Monday morning, when Matt went into Brandon's room to get him out of bed, the mini-man didn't wake up. He must have been completely exhausted because he usually pops right up as soon as the door opens (if he isn't already awake and having a good chat with himself). Matt and I were in his room talking, opening doors and drawers and the poor child barely even moved.

So, of course, I ran and got the camera, because I haven't gotten a picture of my little guy sleeping in about a year, I think.

He probably doesn't need them in this warm weather, but now that he's figured them out, he always wants to snuggle up under the blankets when he goes to bed.

I can think of few things in life more precious than a sleeping baby.

Cuddle craving

After several weeks of fumbling around in my head, trying to figure out what I wanted to say, I’m back with more insomnia-induced ramblings. Roughly 50% (and possibly even more) of my ramblings have come out of some inability to sleep - either needing to get something out so my mind can rest before bed, or because I wake up and think of something I need to say that I have to get out so my mind can rest.

Tonight, my son woke up in the night. He does this semi-regularly, even though he’s almost 22 months old now. We have yet to figure out a pattern or plausible reason for his night wakings, though for a while we’re pretty sure it was just due to inadequate dinners. A few adjustments to his diet have significantly reduced the frequency of nights he wakes up.

Something - though I don’t know what - is different in the last couple of days. I get the sense that something is wrong or off. Not that he’s ill - he’s not. Part of this is just pure instinct and mine may be flawed due to recent sleep deprivation. Part of it is due to how he behaves when he wakes. For one, he has started pulling his sleep sack off and tries to get his pajamas off as well. Given his age, I’m sure this is fairly typical behavior, but that’s where my instinct kicks in that something about it is odd about the context. Usually when he wakes in the night, if he can’t get back to sleep in a reasonable amount of time on his own, one of us (usually Matt, a.k.a. “Super-Awesome-Wonderful-Should-Be-Husband-And-Father-Of-The-Year-Man”) will go give him a bottle and put him back to bed. It’s usually just as straightforward as that.

The last couple of night wakings have been anything but straightforward. He fights his diaper change, doesn’t want his sleep sack, won’t go back to bed easily and we both end up losing hours of sleep. I could barely remember my name at work yesterday I was so tired. That puts a real damper on productivity!

Shockingly, I don’t really mind Brandon’s night wakings - well, except for the part about losing sleep. That’s what I was thinking about as I held him. He cried in his crib for about 15-20 minutes after Matt put him back to bed. He didn’t even lay down, just stood there holding onto the rail and cried. If he’d sounded like he was winding down, I would have let him fall asleep. He was calming down slowly, but not quick enough that I was comfortable letting him cry it out. As soon as I went into his room, he stopped crying. I picked him up and he snuggled into my shoulder for a cuddle immediately.

Was I manipulated by my sweet, innocent child?

Do I care?

He needed a cuddle! Sure, it was 2:10am and that’s not the most convenient time, but given that nighttime cuddle cravings only happen only with Brandon every few months, I don’t think we’re in danger of enabling a habit. The thing is I think I needed to cuddle too. It’s the end of a fairly rough week for me that seemed to be quite the emotional roller coaster. It wasn’t a bad week - just a rough one. Even fairly innocuous “lows” mixed with any kind of emotional high were exhausting. My patience has been thin and I have not felt even remotely like a good mother to my son or like a good wife to my husband and I wanted to do something to help rectify that. Matt got to go back to sleep - hopefully quickly. My son got some exclusive Mommy-time while he settled back to sleep.

As I sat in the glider, rocking Brandon and rubbing his back, I tried to relish the moments of quiet closeness with him because I know it’s fleeting. Who knows how long he’ll want to sit and cuddle with me that way? Chances are I probably have a few years of cuddles to go, but I don’t want to be complacent about it. I only get these years with him once after all.

It’s funny how quickly getting enough rest to have stamina for a busy weekend takes a backseat when you have a beautiful little person falling asleep in your arms. I will be tired tomorrow, but he is worth it a million times over.


Bad memory...what a curse!

A few nights ago, I was laying in bed and trying to slow my brain down so I could fall asleep. I forced myself to think of something other than the "stuff" that is going on everyday in life. I ended up thinking about a story idea and composing what I thought was a pretty darn good first few paragraphs - in my head. The words are probably still in there rattling around somewhere, but I've forgotten the premise and the introduction entirely.

It's a shame, because it was a rather amusing little idea. I guess it just wasn't meant to be anything more than a sleep-inducer, though.

Perhaps it wasn't such a great idea after all! :)

Sleep is so overrated

This week has been one of those that I would have happily skipped in life. Too many unexpected things coming up at the same time as hard deadlines - neither of the two were related either. I try to be pretty flexible, in general, but when I’m down to the wire I start to go pretty rigid. So, needless to say I’m pretty stressed. It’s the perfect opportunity for some good ole comfort eatin’. Fortunately, there’s been no time.

My house is driving me crazy. I know that when you have children, it’s inevitable that the standard for cleanliness changes to a certain extent. I just never have seen it when I’ve visited my friends’ houses. So, when I look at how cluttered my house is - compared to its pre-baby state - I have nightmares about 18+ years of this. Okay, maybe that’s a bit of a reach. I’m just looking forward to when Matt goes back to work so we can hire a cleaner to come and do some of the heavy cleaning tasks that we just don’t have time to do anymore.

We bought this house, which is only a little over 2,300 sq. ft., almost two years ago. I remember saying to Matt that we should look into getting a cleaning service to help us so that we didn’t end up working all week and then cleaning all weekend. He totally shot that down because we’ve always been able to clean our apartments within a few hours top to bottom. But this is more than twice the space AND has twice the number of bathrooms. And two of the bathrooms have huge tubs with two sinks. Wouldn’t you want a service, too? After Brandon came along, he decided he agreed with me.

Let’s talk about Brandon. We took him to the doctor for his 10-month check up yesterday and it was too funny. Every time his doctor shined a light in his eyes, or on his face, he’d get this huge smile on his face. He’s such a happy, happy baby! He’s also a big guy - in over the 97th percentile for height and weight. He’s over 31 inches long. That’s almost a foot longer than he was when he was born. And he weighs almost 2.5 times as much as he did at birth - 25.5lbs. I love my little guy so much. He’s so easygoing and laid-back that I feel bad when I have friends who struggle with their kids. I mean, I’ve hardly ever felt very sleep-deprived since his birth - he’s always been a good sleeper at night.

It’s too bad I’m not as good a sleeper as the baby - then I wouldn’t be up writing this right now…c’est la vie. Who needs sleep?