Truth Day 01 - Something you hate about yourself

Photo Credit: Kym Shumsky (Relishing.ca)My friends mean a great deal to me. Friendship, in general, is something I value. Having people in my life that support me through good times and bad is priceless. And I try to be a good friend in return. But I hate the way I handle friendships.

It goes back to a situation over 10 years ago that hurt me deeply. In one fell swoop, I lost many friends and my ability to trust. It’s something that I’ve consciously worked on for the past couple of years. Because I think friendship is important.

I’m realistic enough to know that I’m not going to connect with every person in my life on a deeper level, but I’m reaping the rewards of opening up. There is no group better than my Book Club (BK). There is no group better than the women who’ve become my friends who lose weight together. There are countless other people in my life outside of these groups who lift me up and encourage me constantly.

I am so blessed.

And yet, I still hold back. I still fear intimacy in friendships. The fear of possible rejection stifles my openness. I hate that about myself, but I don’t want to be hurt again. Recently, my fears came true in the ugliest possible way. 

Despite that, I know that there is no better feeling than knowing that a friend has your back when times are tough. That lesson has been hammered home to me as well in the past couple of weeks no less than a couple dozen times. 

I am beyond blessed.

And, one day, maybe this thing I hate about myself will become a thing of the past.

*****

This post is all about truth - Day 1 of my 30 Days of Truth. I’m not the only one, so here are others if you’re interested in getting to know other bloggers.

30 Days of Truth

Photo Credit: Kym Shumsky (Relishing.ca)For the past few weeks, the pause button has been depressed on my blog. I’ve been on the cusp of many changes and dealing with other stressful situations so there hasn’t been as much time to spend blogging and I’ve gotten a little out of practice. At first when I started seeing this meme popping up, I didn’t really want to participate, but…

I need a challenge to get my head back into blogging again and this is going to be a pretty good one for me, because I’ll have to think pretty hard about how I want to write about some of these things. I may have a blog, but I still consider myself a private person. There is much that I do not and will not share in this space.

Have no fear - I won’t be posting every day. I’ll probably post other content in between these posts, but one-by-one I’ll write about each of these things until I have bared my soul online. Just kidding - that’s not gonna happen, but you will know me better by the end.

Day 01 - Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 - Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 - Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 - Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 - Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 - Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 - Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 - Someone who made your life hell, or treated you badly.
Day 09 - Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 - Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 - Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 - Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 - A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 - A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 - Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 - Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 - A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 - Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 - What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 - (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 - Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 - Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 - Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 - The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 - Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 - What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 - What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 - Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 - A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.