Having a child has been, by far, the most enlightening experience I’ve ever had.
Realizing that he has special needs beyond what is considered to be normal has been an overwhelming learning experience.
We just got home from our first appointment with a developmental pediatrician, who was wonderful. Really, really wonderful. Despite not being able to finish her assessments, she was able to observe some things about Brandon and teach us a bit more about autism spectrum disorders.
I don’t have a diagnosis yet, but I have a suspicion of what it might be and it’s not quite what I expected before talking to the doctor this morning. At the same time, it’s not going to be a complete surprise. I refuse to quantify it as good or bad. It is what it is. No matter what the doctor says, we will have challenges ahead of us.
To say I’m completely okay with it would be a lie, but I don’t feel upset. I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I actually hear and process the words from the doctor, but we have a few weeks before that will happen now. Maybe even longer.
A slight reprieve - time to prepare mentally and emotionally.
Most of all, I’m just ready to get to work on helping Brandon. There are more assessments to come and therapy and it’s time to get started. We’re finally moving forward. It’s good. Sometimes scary, often overwhelming, but definitely good for him to get help that he needs.