The greatest learning experience ever

Having a child has been, by far, the most enlightening experience I’ve ever had. 

Realizing that he has special needs beyond what is considered to be normal has been an overwhelming learning experience.

We just got home from our first appointment with a developmental pediatrician, who was wonderful. Really, really wonderful. Despite not being able to finish her assessments, she was able to observe some things about Brandon and teach us a bit more about autism spectrum disorders.

I don’t have a diagnosis yet, but I have a suspicion of what it might be and it’s not quite what I expected before talking to the doctor this morning. At the same time, it’s not going to be a complete surprise. I refuse to quantify it as good or bad. It is what it is. No matter what the doctor says, we will have challenges ahead of us.

To say I’m completely okay with it would be a lie, but I don’t feel upset. I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I actually hear and process the words from the doctor, but we have a few weeks before that will happen now. Maybe even longer.

A slight reprieve - time to prepare mentally and emotionally.

Most of all, I’m just ready to get to work on helping Brandon. There are more assessments to come and therapy and it’s time to get started. We’re finally moving forward. It’s good. Sometimes scary, often overwhelming, but definitely good for him to get help that he needs.

#7SuperShots: Photos that I love, that mean something to me

There’s a new meme making its way around the blogosphere that is all about photos and I got tagged by Lara and Nicki. It was started by Hostel Bookers and they’ve created something that people want to share. (It’s getting their name out there in a big way, too.) So, I am taking part in HostelBookers 7 Super Shots and at the end, I’m going to nominate five other bloggers to do the same! 

A photo that…takes my breath away

Though slightly blurry, I adore this picture. I don’t remember taking it or what was happening when I did. I only know that I accidentally caught a beautiful moment. 

A photo that…makes me laugh or smile

There’s something about pure, unfettered childhood joy that is infectious, isn’t there? Who can look at this and not smile?

A photo that…makes me dream

Without ever having met them, Brandon loves his Florida and Tennessee cousins. This was his first time “meeting” his Florida cousins and he carried the pictures around for weeks. I dream of the day he gets to meet them face-to-face. 

A photo that…makes me think

I took this one with my iPhone one day as we were walking on this path. When I posted it to Facebook, I got a few comments about the symbolism of the path Brandon is on. This picture makes me think about what he’s like now and who he’ll grow into as he gets older. Will he continue to explore every little thing on the path ahead of him? What branches will spring up on his path and where will they lead? This picture makes me think about all the possibilities ahead for all of us.

A photo that…makes my mouth water

Looks like a tasty treat to me! :) 

A photo that…tells a story

Brandon is so serious in this picture, but I’ll always remember what Matt was doing in the previous few shots. It made him laugh and it made me laugh too. As a group, those pictures tell the story of my husband’s quick sense of humor and complete lack of reverence for a great photo opportunity for his wife - all while holding a completely oblivious Brandon on his lap. That day was a good day.

A photo that…I am most proud of (aka my worthy of National Geographic shot)

This is the first photo I uploaded to Flickr (back in the days when I was actually using it) that got any attention. One of my friends pointed out the dew on the leaf and petals, which I hadn’t even noticed when I went out to take the picture. That was when I knew I wanted to start seeing things with a new, more detailed eye. I also figured out that I really enjoy shooting macro.

I started picking up my camera again this past weekend for the first time in quite a while and I remembered how much I enjoy trying to find great shots in everyday moments. I don’t have much time to spend on it, but I do want to make more of an effort to pick up my camera often enough that it doesn’t start collecting dust again.

Now, it’s your turn. What seven super shots will you share!? (I’m going to try to pick some bloggers who haven’t done this yet, but I’m not up-to-date on my blog reading this week!)

• Jennifer
• Amanda
• Melissa
• Becky
• Chantal

The rules were five, but jump right in! Consider yourself tagged, even if not by name and share your stories through pictures. If you do, be sure to share your post in the comments!

Swamped, but in a happy way

I just spent three hours writing a blog post that I’m not sure I’ll ever publish - at least not in its current state of rambliness. I really wanted to write something to update my friends and family on life at Chez Wilson - or rather what’s going on in the brain of Karen.

I have a lot I want to write about, but not much time these days as I’m working full-time at my full-time job and trying to be a present parent and building a business as well. It’s challenging to keep up but there isn’t a doubt in my mind that it’s all worth the effort. 

Just don’t expect my house to be clean if I invite you over. Something had to give.

Life isn't fair

If I had a nickel for every time my mother repeated that phrase to me growing up, I probably wouldn’t have to work now. It’s a simple truth we all know, but somehow still easily forget. Childhood temper tantrums, shouting “That’s not fair!” evolve into adult pleading - “Why me?”

It’s universal.

Over the last three months, I’ve listened to two different people tell me two very different stories about the curveballs life has thrown at them. 

One. 

After another.

After another.

In one case, I listened and did everything I could to help, knowing that it was likely not enough. I did my best to conceal my tears. I didn’t want them mistaken for pity. I didn’t pity them. I admired and respected them. Their strength, perseverance and courage were humbling.

Hearing the heartbreaking details of someone else’s struggles made me look at my own life in a very different light. What did I have to complain about? Very little. I am blessed beyond measure.

The second conversation caught me by surprise.

An outer shell of calm with a warm smile can hide the heartache within so effectively. Taking each day as it comes, because thinking too far into the future just seems too overwhelming to someone so weighed down with worry and obligation.

Life. Is. Not. Fair.

Earlier tonight, Brandon asked me to play a game for him to watch on the Nintendo. As per usual, I kept falling off the cliff or drowning in the water. Each time I told him, “Silly Mommy made Mario fall.” His response was to repeat a different three words to me.

Over.

And over.

And over.

“Don’t give up, Mommy. Don’t give up.”

It may seem trite to compare my struggle to win a game to other people’s struggle to keep from losing in life. I don’t mean to be trite. I’m proud that Brandon is learning something that will help him later in life.

No matter how big or small the struggle: Don’t give up.

It’s true that life isn’t fair. Some people are given large doses of challenging situations to deal with. Others seemingly have relatively few. But big or small, we all struggle. Of that, there is no question.

The real test is in how we deal with those struggles when they arrive.

A birthday like no other - I feel really special

I woke up this morning when my son started to get fussy in his room. His Thomas toy just wasn’t doing it for him anymore. And though he was awake, we weren’t really ready for him to come out of his room. Fortunately, we have a distraction that works incredibly well. Distraction, thy name is iPad - also affectionately known as Addy when Matt and I don’t want Brandon to know what we’re talking about.

I stumbled across the hall to deliver Addy under his bedroom door. As I turned away, I said good morning to Matt coming up the stairs. He was carrying a plate of food in his hand and I thought, “Wow - he’s really ahead this morning.” Except, the food wasn’t for Brandon - it was for me. He had a plate in one hand and my coffee in the other all set to deliver it to me in bed. (I’m not making this up - my husband is truly that awesome.)

I foiled his plan (sort of), but I climbed back in bed and ate my breakfast and drank my coffee knowing the day was going to be nice. 

Except it wasn’t. 

At some point - maybe around 6:45 - my friend, Lara, texted me and we got into a conversation that lasted pretty much the entire time I was getting ready. Towards the end, she asked if I had lunch plans. She was going to be downtown and wondered if I’d like to get together. I said yes and she proceeded to tweet it out to the world. And the world responded.

This cheesecake was delicious!I logged on to twitter later to see that our lunch date had grown - and it grew and grew to include 10 people and 4 children. We went to Spin Kitchen & Bar and were given the royal treatment by the staff there, thanks to Anathea. Great friends, great food, great fun. I got to meet Jenn who asked me to go be a social media judge at Yuk Yuks tonight, which I must admit is a pretty cool and fun way to spend my birthday! I also got to see Amy for the first time in too many months. Krista decided to come and “crash our party”. Stéphanie very skillfully convinced Sara and Anna that it really would be okay to come with their children - and I am really glad she did. And Vicky braved the parking challenge to make a special trip downtown as well. All with a couple of hours of notice.

I told you my day wasn’t nice. In fact, it’s been FANTASTIC!

Thank you to each and every one of the dozens upon dozens who have left messages on Facebook and twitter for me. I appreciate that you took the time to do it. You made my day special and made me feel special. And that is worth more than any material item in the world.

Thank you for being such awesome people. You absolutely made my day.

*****

P.S. You can read about my birthday gifts to myself over at Losing it in Ottawa today!

Update on Wednesday, July 13, 2011 at 6:27PM by Karen

How could I neglectto mention the lovely card from my co-workers? Especially since one of them said Happy 27th! ;-D