I want to do this, but am I truly ready?

Last September, I wrote a post that continues to be the second most popular since I started blogging. I basically put myself out there in a way that was (for me) simultaneously scary terrifying and refreshing. I was brutally honest about my health, my abilities and what I wanted to do to overcome some of the obstacles that were limiting me.

Ten months later, I can’t believe how badly I’ve let myself down. I had a good thing going last fall and I let it slip away. I had some legitimate reasons in the beginning, but after a while it was just the same old excuses. At the end of the day, there is no one and nothing to blame other than me.

Here’s the brutal, honest truth in short form: I know intellectually how to eat well. I know intellectually how to exercise. (I’ve actually worked out with 3 different trainers for a couple of years and learned a ton from them.) My problem is that I grew up with bad habits and I haven’t ever gotten far enough to break the habits by creating new ones. Something always trips me up - mentally, emotionally or physically. But somehow I have to keep going through those things, because that’s just the way life is. And I can’t experience life to the fullest if I’m not at my healthiest.

I don’t want to let myself down again. I don’t want to let Matt and Brandon down again. I need a healthy Karen and they need a healthy Karen.

It’s time.